Einstein's attire

Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"

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"When I was young I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock," Einstein once recalled. "So I stopped wearing socks." Einstein also alllegedly once declared: "Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."

Moooo.....

Two prisoners were climbing up to the roof of the prison in the middle of the night in their long-planned attempt to escape. The roof was at least 50 feet from the ground. A slight mistake could cause a fatal fall. When they reached to the top, they realized that the roof was made of thin layers of zinc sheets. Realization came a bit too late for the thin zinc sheets made a sound on impact against their heavy feet. The sound was loud enough to be heard by a guard down below. “Who goes there?” the guard called out. Trying to remove the guard’s suspicion, one of the prisoners mimicked a cat sound. “Meowww!”. The guard bought it. Then the zinc sheets made a sound again when they started to move. “Who goes there?” the guard called out again. This time he switched his flash light on and took out his pistol. In that moment of panic, the other prisoner sounded, “moooo!” They were captured immediately after.

When faced with insecurities, our foolishness shines.

Hypocrites

I always find it amusing to see friends who jog for miles each day but won’t move an inch to switch television channels manually.

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And a friend told me recently about his fundraising campaign for poor farmers. He approached a successful entrepreneur who told him that he had just secured a two million dollar project. However, the entrepreneur said that he would only be getting a ten percent profit cut which to him was a pretty small sum. At one point during their conversation, my friend told him about his fundraising campaign and was hoping the rich and successful entrepreneur would donate two thousand dollars. He said the amount asked was too big!

Einstein on imagination

Take it from the smartest guy in the world: "Imagination is more important than knowledge"

The talking dog

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. Since no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Oh he's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!"

Sometimes we believe in labels more than the truth right before our eyes.

The blind and the deaf

Two men, one blind and the other deaf, were involved in a heated argument one day. The blind man attacked the deaf with verbal abuses. The deaf did the same using sign languages. But neither was offended for the deaf didn’t hear the abuses and the blind didn’t see the offensive sign languages thrown at his face.

Bad criticisms affect us only if we allow ourselves to ‘see’ and ‘hear’ where they come from.